Starting at a new school can feel overwhelming for your child. They face new friends, routines and expectations, all while trying to find where they fit in.
As a parent, you play a pivotal role in helping them build the confidence and social skills they need to connect with others. You can help your child form genuine friendships that make school a more positive and comfortable place, and we have some practical tips on how you can do that.
Here, we’ll take you through how you can support your child in meeting new classmates, joining activities and learning how to communicate with confidence. We’ll share ways to help them manage shyness, handle social setbacks and recognise the value of listening and empathy.
1. Encourage your child to join clubs or extracurricular activities
Joining clubs or extracurricular activities helps your child meet classmates who share similar interests. Engagement in class activities such as sports, art or music clubs create natural opportunities for children to engage in conversation and teamwork. These shared experiences for children can make forming friendships easier and more comfortable.
Supporting children in exploring school clubs that match their hobbies or curiosity can help bring them out of their shell. When children feel a sense of belonging, they often become more confident in social settings.
If your child feels unsure, start small. Encourage them to attend one meeting or trial session. After-school clubs are a good way for children to practise social skills in a relaxed environment. Remind your child that it’s normal to feel nervous at first.
Support your child by showing interest in what they choose. Ask about their experiences and celebrate small steps. Your encouragement helps them stay motivated and open to new friendships.
2. Arrange playdates with classmates outside school
You can help your child form friendships by arranging small playdates with classmates or neighbourhood children. Meeting outside school gives your child a relaxed environment to connect and practise social skills. It also helps them see classmates as friends.
Start with short, simple activities such as playing at the park, doing crafts or joining a family dinner. Keep the group small so your child feels comfortable and can focus on one or two friends.
You can also reach out to other parents to plan weekend gatherings or outdoor games. Arranging activities outside school gives children more chances to socialise, which can reduce emotional stress.
3. Role-play social scenarios to build confidence
You can help your child feel more comfortable in new social settings by practising real-life situations through role-play. Acting out moments like joining a group at playtime or introducing themselves to a classmate helps them prepare for real social interactions. This technique gives them a safe space to practise what to say and how to say it.
Role-playing scenarios encourage your child to think about how others feel and respond. It helps them understand different perspectives and practise empathy, which are key parts of building friendships. Acting out social situations can make children more confident when meeting new friends.
Keep the sessions short and positive. Praise your child’s efforts and highlight what they did well. Over time, these small practice sessions can help your child approach new friendships with greater ease and confidence.
4. Teach your child to ask open-ended questions
Help your child learn to ask questions that invite conversation rather than short answers. Open-ended questions encourage classmates to share more about themselves, making it easier for your child to find common interests. For example, instead of “do you like football?”, they could ask, “what sports do you like to play?”
Children who use open-ended questions often build more meaningful connections because they show genuine interest in others. These questions help your child listen actively and respond thoughtfully, which can make new friendships feel more natural.
You can practise this valuable skill at home through role-play or daily chats. Ask your child questions that start with “what”, “how” or “why” and let them think before answering. This approach helps them feel more confident starting conversations at school.
5. Help your child recognise and manage shyness
Shyness is a normal response to new people or situations. Your child might feel nervous, quiet or unsure when meeting classmates for the first time. Help them understand that feeling shy is common and nothing to be ashamed of.
Talk about what shyness feels like so your child can recognise it. Encourage them to share times when they felt shy and how they handled it. This helps them see shyness as manageable rather than something that controls them.
Give your child small chances to practise social skills. For example, they could greet a neighbour or ask a classmate a simple question. Gradually increasing these interactions builds confidence.
It’s important to stay patient and positive and avoid pushing your child into large groups too quickly. Gentle encouragement and praise for small efforts can make a big difference.
6. Discuss the importance of listening in conversations
When your child learns to listen carefully, they show respect and interest in others. Listening helps them understand what their friends think and feel, which builds trust and stronger friendships. It also makes conversations more balanced and enjoyable for everyone.
You can teach your child to listen by modelling it yourself. When you give them your full attention, they see how to do the same with others. Encourage them to wait their turn to speak and to respond to what the other person says.
Practising active listening skills helps children follow conversations and notice tone, facial expressions and emotions. These skills make it easier for them to join group discussions and solve small disagreements calmly.
Remind your child that listening is just as important as talking. It shows kindness and helps them learn more about their friends’ interests. Over time, good listening habits will help your child feel more confident and build meaningful relationships in their new school.
7. Model positive social behaviour at home
Children often learn how to behave by watching you. When you show kindness, patience and respect, your child sees what good friendship looks like. Everyday actions such as greeting neighbours or thanking others set a clear example.
Practise good communication at home. Listen when your child speaks, make eye contact and take turns in conversation. These small habits build confidence in social settings and make you a role model for your child.
Encourage cooperation through simple tasks like cooking or tidying together. Working as a team teaches problem-solving and compromise. Practising these behaviours at home helps children handle friendships more positively.
8. Encourage your child to smile and use friendly body language
A warm smile helps your child appear open and approachable. Smiling shows other children that your child is kind and ready to connect. You can practise this at home by modelling friendly behaviour and giving gentle reminders before school.
Body language also plays a vital role in making friends. Positive nonverbal communication, such as relaxed posture, steady eye contact and calm tone of voice, helps children build trust and confidence with others.
If your child seems unsure, teach them simple ways to show they are listening and engaged. Nodding, facing the person they are talking to and keeping arms uncrossed are easy habits to practise. These actions make conversations feel more natural and friendly.
Encourage your child to notice how others use gestures and expressions. Learning to read these social cues and body language signals can help them respond appropriately and build stronger friendships.
9. Talk about handling rejection and setbacks calmly
When your child faces rejection, stay calm and listen first. Let them share how they feel without interrupting or minimising their emotions. This helps them feel understood and supported. Acknowledging feelings encourages resilience and emotional balance.
Explain that rejection is a normal part of learning and growing. Children who experience small disappointments early often develop stronger coping skills later. You can remind them that even adults face setbacks and still move forward.
Encourage your child to think about what they can learn from the experience. Discussing what went wrong and what could be done differently next time. This approach helps your child see rejection as a chance to improve rather than a failure.
Model calm responses when things do not go your way. Children watch how you react to disappointment. If you stay composed and positive, they will learn to handle their own setbacks with confidence and patience.
10. Recognise signs of social anxiety
Pay attention to changes in your child’s behaviour. Signs such as avoiding school events, complaining of stomach aches or saying they have “no friends” may point to social anxiety and emotional stress.
Keep notes of when these behaviours occur. Patterns can help you understand what triggers your child’s worry. Encouraging small, low-pressure interactions, like inviting one classmate over or joining a club with shared interests, can help your child feel more secure and reduce social concerns.
If anxiety continues, speak with your child’s teacher, pastoral care team or counsellor. They can provide support and strategies tailored to your child’s needs.
Frequently asked questions
Helping your child settle into a new school involves patience, encouragement, and practical support. You can guide them to build friendships, communicate effectively and feel confident in their new environment through small, consistent actions at home and school.
What strategies can parents employ to ease their child’s transition to a new school?
Start by talking openly about what to expect at their new primary school or secondary school. Listen to your child’s worries and validate their feelings. Encourage them to join clubs or extracurricular activities that match their interests, as these shared spaces make meeting new classmates easier.
You can also visit the school together before term starts. Familiarity with the setting helps reduce anxiety and builds comfort with the new routine.
How can I support my child in building social connections with their peers?
Model positive social behaviour by showing kindness and respect in your own social interactions. Teach your child to use open body language, smile and make eye contact.
Encourage them to ask open-ended questions like “What do you like to do at break time?” to keep conversations going. Using these practical tips and providing plenty of encouragement at home helps children feel confident when meeting new classmates.
What role can parents play in supporting positive relationships between their child and school staff?
Build a friendly relationship with your child’s teachers by attending meetings and communicating regularly. When teachers understand your child’s personality and needs, they can help build their social and emotional skills.
Encourage your child to speak respectfully and openly with teachers. This helps them feel supported and included in the classroom and builds meaningful connections with staff.
How do I teach my child to effectively communicate and engage with new friends?
Role-play social scenarios at home to help your child practise greetings, introductions and polite conversation. This builds confidence and prepares them for real-life interactions.
Teaching children positive body language and active listening makes communication smoother and more enjoyable, creating a good experience for children in social situations.
What signs should I look for to ensure my child is adjusting well socially in their new environment?
Look for signs such as enthusiasm about school, talking about classmates or wanting to attend social events. These show growing comfort and belonging.
If your child seems withdrawn, anxious or reluctant to attend school, check in with them and their teacher. Early support can help children who struggle with making friends.
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